For the first part of my life, say up to 20 years, I have always tried to be a kind of model.
not many people who now attend, including those who today read my ravings, I knew then. Some may remember him, others may not have noticed, but I agree. I tried to be a good person, right. You know, those rubbish from the Round Table knight or paladin (or rather paladinettuccettino).
Something began to change ... perhaps I have not noticed but after sixteen or seventeen years, the awareness of the world around me has grown. Finally out, in spite of myself, where we were all repaired by the cotton, made up of high school and homework, I learned that keeping the "code of conduct" if it were the samurai Bushido, was much more difficult and complicated.
increasingly difficult if hit by a heavy hammer, your instinct, and others. If you can check it first, the second is a forced flow of the table of life, you can choose to swallow or reject, suffering from hunger.
The individual history then alternates between the experiences we have had a po'tutti: first loves, and almost never paid much suffering, the people who placed themselves as good and beautiful that were really petty and materialistic. The betrayals suffered, or those made and imbued with remorse after the event, or the awareness of being an entity capable of repeating this conduct unbecoming.
As the white robes of the rider gets dirty, will never return as white as before, even using a bleach Gandalf. So some think they can dye their clothes of different colors: red aggressively pursuing their passions. A dark blue asking open-mouthed a while 'suffering as if it were bread. An orange warm and welcoming. A dark and mysterious black.
All with our meanness, the inability to be a ubiquitous example.
Yet, the expectation of the people around you is always to be better than they in fact, while you are still perceived by them as "inferior."
"Of course, he should do so and not what. In its place then I did this and what is not important, however, he should not do it. "
We know that people give good advice if you can not set a bad example: p er others is good you're wonderful, benevolent and bear any harassment is never wrong. This rule does not apply it a few times ourselves.
So, I just want what I expect: I want to be considered to be inaccurate and misleading. Do you understand: I do not want to be seen as an entity that should only take "good", a saint. Even if I wanted it in the past. I want them to stop considering someone 100% "good" - "excellent" - "infallible." I do not want to be, I will not carry the weight that these labels will. I do not want you expect me to do the right thing, which I always considered and perfectly reliable.
I want to be considered a deceptive person at times, sometimes good, sometimes that is bullshit, which some right gill. I want to be forgiven sometimes, the other accused. Sometimes even praised. But not exclusively one of these things.
short, I would just be considered a person.
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